Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Connie's Comment on Riin Gill's Blog

I haven't written a blog entry for a while because there just really isn't anything to write about..

Until now...

I wouldn't normally reply to a comment, made to me, from another blog but as I am no longer allowed to post on that blog, I figured that I would reply to the comment on my own blog:


Lisa needs to keep her nose to herself.

Connie, I am not the one that needs to "keep her nose to herself." I have JUST as much right to comment, about what has been going on, as John does.

When Riin came along, John was already in a well established relationship with me. And it was me that initially told John that I could tell Riin was falling in love with him. I am the one that told John to explore the feelings with her. So, he did.

Riin wants nothing to do with this jerk.

Until you've known John for as long as I have, OR any number of his friends and family, who also wrote on Riin's blog in John's defense, I think that you should keep your opinions to yourself about someone, and something, you know nothing about.

He needs to back off and find someone else to make miserable. Sounds like he has done that with Lisa already.

For your information, not that you really deserve a response, but John has not made me miserable. This situation has made both John and I miserable. John and I both loved Riin.

Granted, it took me quite a while to warm up to Riin being with John and I, because of my low self esteem issues and self confidence, and the fact that I am disabled and in a wheelchair, and my fear of abandonment, that I have had since my Dad pretty much disappeared from my life when I was a kid.

In the beginning, I admit that resented her, and him for that matter, for the hours that they would spend on the phone together in the bedroom and leave me out in the living room. Or when she'd come here to visit with us, I would get upset when they went out riding bicycles, or did other things without me, and left me home by myself.

For the first time since John and Riin got together, I was starting to warm up to her. It took some time, getting over my stubbornness and some doing, but I was.

Lisa needs to tend to her own business.

Connie, this is my business. Riin was coming here, not only to be with John, but John and I. She knew right from the start that John and I were a package deal.

Doesn’t sound like she is to happy with him at this time.

Actually, I am happy with John. It's this situation that I am not happy with.

Living with him for 9 years and he has never asked her to marry him. If he was happy with you he would of married you long ago.

Actually, he did ask me to marry him after 2 years of us being together. But, when Riin came into the picture that all changed because John didn't want to legally marry one of us without marrying the other. He didn't think that it was very fair to marry one and not the other.

1 comment:

John A. Ardelli said...

Just like I did. History repeats itself.

I have to disagree that Connie should keep her opinions to herself. You yourself pointed out that you have as much right to comment on this mess as anyone else. So does Connie. True, her opinions don't mean much since she's not in our shoes, but that doesn't mean she's not entitled to express them, right or wrong.

Also, I notice you used the past tense when you said "loved" Riin. I respect that, but I want to state for the record that I still love her, even to this day, and I probably always will.

As to the marriage issue, yes Lisa and I were officially engaged for many years. The only reason we aren't married now is because of a shift in my value system since becoming polyamorous. To me, marrying a life partner implies that that partner is somehow more important than the others. I believe polyamory cannot work unless all partners are considered equals.

If the law allowed one to marry more than one person then absolutely I would marry Lisa. I'd have asked Riin to marry me, too. But marriage does not allow one to marry more than one person.

In other words, I don't want to marry anyone. Period. It's not about Lisa at all. It's simply that marriage itself is imcompatible with my current belief system.